Letter of Thanks

How does one express with extreme sincerity what is in a heart overflowing with emotion? 2/10/10

In Spring, 2009, microscopic germs began to override my body silently putting me into a deep depression and causing me excess stress, poor work performance and possibly strained family interactions.
As happens often in life, plans did not work out and, from July to January I was in and out of the hospital and four times I was on the brink of death. I did not know how much stress and effort my four children were going through – the sacrifices they made and the tough decisions they were forced to make. Even in my foggy unconscious state I never doubted they were behind the scene advocating for me. Being delirious, as I was, I still do not know what really happened during those long, long weeks. I still learn about incidents from time to time that I have no recollection of.

I guess it was not my time to leave this world – I have much to look forward to with my family and career. How do I thank such wonderful children? A simple card or flowers is inadequate – you cannot put a price on what they endured and the support they continue to give me. They are very special people.

I do not think the entirety of my experience has fully been realized. I struggle with food issues, memory deficits and simple things like walking. I have not yet cried except for the night of Heather’s missed wedding. I haven’t felt extreme anger – my grieving process is incomplete. I miss the level of involvement I had with Alex and Makenna.

A few more weeks and I must return to work – will it be the same? – will I be able to pick up where I left off? I am apprehensive about returning to work. Finances are in disarray. It may become necessary to find a higher paying job to remain in this house. Or should I move? Where and with whom? There are many problems to solve. I am thankful I have people to help me.

Finally, a few words about my brothers – they are the epitome what siblings should be. Although they disagreed with my medical choices, they kept a close eye on me and helped me when I was desperate. I love them to death.

There is nothing left to say: I love you and thank you. I will be there for you always.
THE LUCKIEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD